Long Lost Dumas!!

Gasp… sputter… incredulity… Why did no one tell me?!

Explains The New Yorker:

This long-lost novel by the nineteenth-century master of the swashbuckler was discovered in decidedly twentieth-century fashion, on microfilm in the National Library in Paris. A breathless seven hundred and fifty pages, the unfinished manuscript nominally concerns a young velvet-suited nobleman “whose pallor bespoke a strange destiny”: to redeem his family’s Royalist past, he must serve as a common sailor on a corsair. But Dumas seems only intermittently interested in his hero, lingering instead on Napoleon, still an emperor-in-waiting, bemoaning his marriage to spendthrift Josephine (“I shall keep divorce legal in France, if only so I can leave that woman”). Amid stagecoach heists, assassination attempts, and the occasional tiger hunt, sudden details gleam: a condemned aristocrat requests the services of a barber en route to the scaffold; a lovelorn girl conspires to commit suicide by snakebite.

Damn my birthday having already come and gone! ‘Tis expensive, and yet, somehow, I must have it!